remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he high fived his dick after we had sex
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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