That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
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White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize