I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
