I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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