so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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