Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
