addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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