I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
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We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
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Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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