I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't think brook has ever known best
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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