I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
