Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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