it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting