You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science