Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
