I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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