I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I will be naked everywhere
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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