Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
