i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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