why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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