Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
