and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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