with your own penis?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
