Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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