I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
