Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
