I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
