I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
