My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize