Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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