I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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