I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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