it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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