I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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