when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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