matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
