it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
