You smell like stripper and shame
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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