I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
