i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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