tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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