I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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