NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
