random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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