she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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