where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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