Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
