When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she told me i tasted like america
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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