ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
