Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
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I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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