Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
