Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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