If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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