Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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