Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
