He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
