You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
